Five Things You Will Never See in a Stand By Me Fanfic
by Izout
Summary: You know it's true.


Five Things You Will Never See in a Stand By Me Fanfic

Summary: You know it's true.

A/N: Inspired by Psycho Tangerine's My Five Things the Rangers Never Did.

Disclaimer: Not mines, don't sue.

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FIVE

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"Well, here it is our new home." An older man told his son has patted his shoulder. The older man was a person with fading salt and pepper hair, a moustache, and was wearing a stripped dress shirt and slacks. "What do you think of it so far?"

"I don't know Dad, I mean, my whole life was back at our old home. As well as all my friends…" The little boy trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Well, don't worry son, I'm sure you'll find new friends here." And just as the older man said that, he turned his head and saw four boys standing off at the curve staring at them. "Like those four. Why don't you introduce yourself?"

"I'm not sure about that." The little boy said uneasy as he look over at them. But the older man would have none of that as he gently pushed his son over.

"It's okay, I'll take care of the unpacking, go on." His father told him with a warm smile. Gulping, the little boy nervously walked over to them; straightening out his button-up shirt, short pants, and curly red hair. "Uh… hi?"

"Hey," Said one of them as he wiped off his hand on his pants before stretching in out for a handshake, "I'm Chris. This is Gordie, Teddy, and Vern."

"Pleasure to meet you all," The boy then introduced himself, "I'm Frederick."

"So Freddy, what brings you to our little shithole of a town?" Teddy asked him very crassly. Frederick was taken a bit back by this.

"Uhhh, my dad and I just moved from Wisconsin to expand our Ice Cream Parlor business." Frederick told the boys.

"Ice Cream?" The chubby one, Vern, asked with his eyes light up in interest.

"Y-Yeah. If you want, I can get you guys some once our business is set up." Frederick offered.

"Sure, that sounds nice." Chris told him. "Hey, we're about to go play some cards up at our tree house. Wanna come?"

"Sure, I don't know how to play cards, but I could learn." Frederick told them as he followed the boys to their clubhouse.

"Frederick, I have a feeling you're going to fit in real good." Gordie told him with a reassuring smile as all five boys walked off.

_Ever notice when the authors decides to add a fifth member to the boys' gang, it's never another boy?_

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FOUR

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"What's taking him so long?" moaned a frustrated Teddy as he, Vern, and Gordie stood outside of the movie theater. The boys were going to see the newest John Wayne movie, Rio Bravo, since they saw it was coming out today, but unfortunately the one with the money so they could see the movie, Chris, was running late.

"I hope he gets here soon, or else we won't have time to get snacks before the movie starts." Whined Vern as he heard his stomach growl.

"I'm sure he'll be here any minute guys," Gordie assured his best friends. "Hey, I think I see him. Hey Chr-Chris?" It look like Chris, but they weren't sure. He was wearing a blue shirt with a light green jacket over it, as well as black pants.

"Hey guys!" Chris greeted them, than just looked at them as they stared at him. "What? Is there something on my face?" Chris rubbed to face to remove whatever on it. "In my hair?" Chris started wiping his head.

"Chris… where did that come from?" Teddy was the first one to ask him, eyeing his clothing.

"Oh this?" Chris looked down on his clothes. "I've always had this, I just felt like wearing it today."

"But we thought…" Gordie trailed off.

"Yeah, we never see you in anything else but…" Vern also trailed off. Chris looked a little offended by their comments.

"Jesus guys, I know my home life sucks, but my Mom does try to buy me nice things. Now come on, before we miss the movie." Shaking his head in annoyance, Chris walked through the doors first. Gordie, Vern, and Teddy all looked at each other, shrugged, and followed Chris in.

_Wow, you mean Chris has other clothes _besides _White tees and blue jeans? Who would have thunk it?_

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THREE

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"Chris?"

There was no answer.

"Chris?"

Still Nothing.

"Chris! Please talk to me." Gordie pleaded to his best friend to see what was wrong. Ever since that time a few days back when they fake wrestle and Chris was on top of him, Chris had been acting funny. He almost always skipped class, they never walk home together, and he even stop talking to him for a while.

"There's nothing wrong Gordie-."

"Don't feed me any of that crap Chambers," Gordie cut Chris off. "This is me, Chris, ME. I know you better than you know yourself. Now, please tell me what's wrong."

Chris turned to look Gordie, his piercing blue eyes looking directly into Gordie's big brown Doe eyes, then looked down muttering something.

"What?" Gordie walked closer to Chris.

"If only you were a girl…" Chris told him. Gordie jump back as though he had been stung.

"What!" Chris walked closer.

"Then I wouldn't feel weird…" Chris stood in front of Gordie. "when I do this." After saying that, Chris quickly captured Gordie's lips in a kiss, than wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling him closer. Before Gordie could even react….

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Hey, is anyone in there?!" shouted a voice from the other side of the door. Chris immediately pulled himself from Gordie and called out.

"Uh, yeah, there people in here!" Chris called out. There was some silence before the voice answered.

"Okay, just checking." Then both boys heard the sound of footsteps backing away. Chris breathed out a sigh of relief and turned to Gordie.

"Okay, where were we…" But Gordie was already walking pass him.

"Sorry, I have to go."

"But Gordie!"

"I have to, uh, wash my dog's hair."

"But you don't have a-" But Chris got cut off as Gordie closed the door. "Damn it!"

_Does anybody ever knock in slash?_

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TWO

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"Why do I have to wear this suit?" Grumbled a peeved Mr. Chambers as his wife straighten his tie.

"Because dear, we have to take our family Christmas photo for my sister and I want us to look nice." Replied Mrs. Chambers, a tired looking woman with bags under her eyes and frizzy hair brushed back to look straight. "I know this is hard, the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get out of these clothes."

"Alright." M. Chambers gave in. "Where are the kids?" He looked for his sons and saw them having a shoving match.

"Asshole!"

"Dick face!"

"Piss drinker!"

"Puss eater!"

"KNOCK IT OUT BOTH OF YOU!" roared Mr. Chambers as he smacked both his sons. The photographer was a bit taken back by this, than cleared his throat.

"Are we ready to take the picture?"

"Yeah, let's get this over with." Sighed Mrs. Chambers as they got into position. "Wait, kids get over here." As she said that, five other kids, three boys and two girls, walked in and got into position.

"Alright, everybody smile…." The photographer trailed, then took the picture.

_Hey, remember the other five Chambers kids?_

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ONE

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Dear Journal,

Hi! It's me Vern. I had a really boss day today, sincerely. First off, I finally found my Penny jar. Second there was this new girl who moved into town and we became best friends fast. She told me past where when he was a baby, her mother died because her father is an abusive drunk who killed her and raped her. Then one day her father killed her brother who was best friend and then he impregnated her and she had children and then she gave them to her grandmother who just died and left her the house in Castle Rock. But then her children got sent to her aunt and then she killed her father.

Then I told her about Ray Brower so I brought her along on our trip to find him. Then we had a few run ins with the Cobras, but I was brave and protected her. And then she fell in love with me. Then we started dating. Then we made love in the tree house under the stars and moon. Then I told the guys, and I think I heard Gordie muttering something about disinfecting the tree house and possibly burning it. Then Ace tried to rape my girlfriend, but I saved her. And then we got married and had four kids. And then we went on a treasure hunt to find a treasure chest and we got rich.

Overall, it was a good day.

Vern.

_Vern getting to be the main character in a fanfic._

And that's five things you will never see in a Stand By Me Fanfic.


End file.
